Five Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

This “Five Things” trend has been floating ’round the blogsphere for months now.  I’ve expanded it to six… 

– If not a career in the arts, the two back-up professions I chose were 1. Dolphin Trainer and 2. Ice Dancer.

– When I was six I wrote my first story, Ann’s Busy Day.  It was about an orphan who gets adopted, goes to New York, eats ice cream, gets balloons and a new puppy all in one day.   

– Freshman year of high school I was sexually assaulted.  Years later (at the urging of playwright, Bill Mastrosimone) the experience lead me to playwriting.         

– My fave mode of transportation is anything on rails with big windows – trains, subways, cablecars.  If I had the time and money I’d ride the rails all over the world.

– Once my kindergarten teacher withheld snack cookies and left the room until we were silent.  While we were waiting I tapped out a rhythm; stomp-stomp, stomp-stomp, stomp-stomp.  The other children joined in.  It produced an inspiring sound.  Together we pounded our desks and chanted, “Co-okies!  Co-okies!  Co-okies!”  We didn’t get any cookies that day.  But in terms of group leadership and music-making, it was an exciting moment for me.        

– Elton John pushed me at Tower Records on Sunset.  A space-invader decended on my section while I was thumbing around.  Its arm shoved me aside, snatching this disc and that.  “Huhhh!!!!” I exhaled, but the guy was oblivious.  I stepped back, cocked a hand on my hip and said, “Hello?  Like, EXCUSE ME?”and there my eyes were seared by a shocking orange suit only one degree lighter than construction cones.  It was the imposingly squat physique of Sir Elton John!  What possessed him to wear such an obnoxious color off-stage I’ll never know.  Trailing him was a boy-assistant who held the basket into which Sir Elton thoughtlessly flung his snatchings.  He was a rude, old queen indeed!


4 responses to “Five Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

  1. thank you for sharing this information with us. i am astounded by the audacity of sir agent orange! i’d like to play too:

    1. i was brought up with some invaluable knowledge such as, “chickens are plucked. eyebrows are tweezed. also: horses sweat, men perspire, women glow.”

    2. my chosen profession was a toss-up between dallas cowboy cheerleader and cocktail waitress ala bunny club bunny.

    3. in first grade, i was so consumed by my love for s.s., i pinned him against the wall of the coat closet and kissed him. much to his disgust.

    4. i auditioned a speech i wrote for my college’s student convocation. had i been selected, i would have followed helen thomas.

    5. i helped orchestrate a private party for the prince of spain on the night of a big ’94 world cup win. at the party, i was kissed by placido domingo and managed to get one of the prince’s entourage (my dance partner) to cut in on the mayor of chicago so i could dance with him. it was a jitterbug.

  2. I guess I am behind on the times. I have no knowledge of the “Five Things” trend. Here are five very “clean” previously unkown facts about me:

    1. I still enjoy playing with toys in the bathtub and I am over the age of 30. I have plastic sharks that I move around while humming the theme to jaws.

    2. I sing in the shower while I pretend I am in a new sold out Broadway musical.

    3. I also practice monologues in the shower.

    4. Win Wimbeldon and an olympic gold medal in the shower.

    5. Accept my Academy Award in the shower (but my speech is well over 30 seconds and I don’t hear the orchestra)

  3. 1. I won a hand writing contest in the third grade. We had to write in our best cursive a whole paper, and I won. I forget what I wrote about, but I remember being so proud and a little embarassed.

    2. My dream was to become a writer. Oh, but thank gawd, my payroll carreer took off instead. ha.

    3. I was once in the Disneyland Parade. You know, the one that goes down Main Street every night? I was a penguin.

    4. I stapled my finger on purpose once, because I wanted to know if it would hurt. It did. I never told anyone.

    5. I have planned my own memorial music. I picked three songs. I’m sure the person I told has forgotten. However my final request, which I know has been remembered, is I want my ashes scattered into Timoth Lake. My ex husband will be singing Amazing Grace while doing this.


  4. 1-In second grade I decided I wanted to be a rock star and I still feel the same way today.

    2-In 8th grade I stopped hanging out with a friend of mine because other friends peer pressured me in to it. I’ve always felt bad about that.

    3-Sometime in my youth I had a habit where I would scratch the top of my head until it would bleed. Then when it would heel I’d pick off the scab.

    4-I love to watch boxing.

    5-As a very young boy moving in to adult hood I often day dreamed of Victoria Principal (Dallas TV’s Pamela Ewing). Her breats were just so big and perfect.

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